Name: The Grilled Double Down
Source: Kentucky Fried Chicken, 1712 Kingwood Drive, Kingwood, TX
Price: $4.99 (no tax, no combo)
Ingredients: Two pieces of grilled chicken, mayo, "colonel sauce", cheese (supposedly Monterrey and American), no bacon (you read that right)*
Rating: */***** (1/5)
Source: Kentucky Fried Chicken, 1712 Kingwood Drive, Kingwood, TX
Price: $4.99 (no tax, no combo)
Ingredients: Two pieces of grilled chicken, mayo, "colonel sauce", cheese (supposedly Monterrey and American), no bacon (you read that right)*
Rating: */***** (1/5)
In other words, you no longer have a chicken patty surrounded by two pieces of bread (or biscuits), you have two pieces of chicken surrounding bacon, gravy, cheese, and "Colonel sauce" (insert your own bodily function joke here). Of course, as the writer of a blog called "Chicken Sandwich Blog", I had to try it.
The Double Down was released a few months back in selected markets, which oddly enough did not include Houston (despite being the fattest city in America at one point). Thus, like most Americans, I had to wait until this week when it got its national release to have one.
So last night, my friend Richard (who writes a great blog on crane games by the way) and I decided to go down to our local KFC at around 9PM and try one for dinner. You can imagine our disappointment when we are told that they are out of the Original Recipe, and we have to settle for the grilled. This is worse than expecting a Tickle Me Elmo and getting a Grope Me Bert. This is wanting the original Lion King on DVD for your birthday and getting the The Lion King II: Simba's Pride on VHS. This is like asking out the hottest girl in your school to prom, getting rejected, and taking your homely cousin.
But fine...hey Double Down is Double Down, right? Nope, wrong. It's not. The Grilled Double Down is awful. First of all, it defeats the purpose of eating this crap in the first place. You want the unhealthy, greasy, gross option. You don't want some KFC executive's attempt to make a "healthy option". I should note here that not too many people seemed to have tried this excuse for a chicken sandwich yet. A Google search for "grilled double down" yields essential no images of this thing and only two reviews of this thing. Anyways, I'm just ranting.
Let's get to the sandwich. The chicken itself is soggy and mushy, and like a friend once described another chicken sandwich, it's "gooey". Just take a second to think about what that means in this context. The colonel sauce is easily ignorable - it barely shows up and when it does, it brings nothing. The sandwich is incredibly dry and bland. The cheese is pointless. It doesn't add to the flavor in any way but really just makes the sandwich slip and slide and fall apart while adding yet another level of mush. I don't know where that other review got the picture above because my sandwich didn't look anything like that. And chances are, yours won't either. This sandwich is a mess. The final insult is that this piece of garbage costs $5! A $5 chicken sandwich should at least be good. I feel like I could have gotten 5 dollar menu chicken sandwiches and come out a lot happier. This sandwich shouldn't exist at all and I will never be eating it again.
Due to demand, and I suppose living in such a fat city, I didn't get the chance to try the actual Double Down yet. I will soon (after I let this grilled mess leave my colon first) and will post a review soon (UPDATE: Maybe never.). In an attempt to leave you, the reader, with a better after taste than I had with that sandwich, I will post some of the more entertaining links I discovered with my research on this sandwich.
*NOTE: As I noted above, I didn't have bacon in this sandwich. I was raised Hindu so I don't eat red meat, including bacon. I'm pretty sure I've had it before in my life but I don't really care for it. I've heard it's great and maybe one day, I'll eat some but not today. I realize some of the more purist food critics may say that removing the bacon ("the meat in between the meat" if you will) will greatly affect the experience. While that may be true, I really don't want to eat bacon. If you do love the taste of bacon, please feel free to take my review with a grain of salt (that is, if you already didn't have enough salt eating the Double Down). That being said, I can assure you even if bacon tasted like pure heaven, this sandwich would still be a disappointing ** out 5* at best.
UPDATE (October 2011): I don't know when this happened or why but the grilled double down is not even an item on KFC's menu anymore, which makes this review sort of like what people wrote while on the Titanic as it was going down: a review of a disaster.
UPDATE (October 2011): I don't know when this happened or why but the grilled double down is not even an item on KFC's menu anymore, which makes this review sort of like what people wrote while on the Titanic as it was going down: a review of a disaster.
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